


Here is Gone

by blueabsinthe



Category: Without a Trace
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Challenges, Communication Failure, Community: firstlines1000, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Introspection, LiveJournal Prompt, POV Second Person, Prompt Fic, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21544969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueabsinthe/pseuds/blueabsinthe
Summary: You and I got something, but then it's all and then it's nothing to me.
Relationships: Jack Malone/Samantha Spade
Kudos: 6





	Here is Gone

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written about ten/eleven years ago-ish? Prompt from the Livejournal community: firstlines1000 (Challenge #2: _"Fuck me."_ Posting for archiving purposes after cleaning it up a bit.

_“Fuck me.”_

And it’s the one thing you can’t do, because then she’s won. Up until now you’ve set the boundaries, which kept you in control. Now, the best way to maintain control after ‘fuck me’ is to not. You win; it’s that simple, really.

So you grab her discarded black raincoat from the bed and hand it to her. “Put it back on,” you tell her, willing yourself to keep your eyes remote and distant. Staying in control under pressure was something everyone you’ve ever met seems to admire. Probably why they all assume you have it more together than anyone they know.

It’s not that you don’t want to fuck her; it’s just … it’s just you have to try and make your marriage work, even if it's just for the children’s sake. So, you hand her back her coat, and turn to stare out the window at the New York skyline. You know she’s disappointed, but you also know part of her was waiting for you to be the aggressive one so she can make it your fault if something goes wrong.

You catch her looking at you in the rain splattered window, and you know what she’s thinking with the gleam in her crystal blue eyes and slight curve of her pink lips.

“Why'd you come then?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

It’s an honest question. One you wish you had the answer to, but you can’t seem to think up an answer. You never were gifted with thinking up answers on the spot.

It was always something you could never do back in the days of high school. You used to hate those kids who could think up answers on the spot. They'd usually wait until you opened your mouth so they could open theirs and make you look like the fool.

It never was your intention to make her look like a fool, but you can bet she’s probably feeling pretty damn foolish right about now. And you know, with the way she’s eyeing you with keen interest, she’s waiting for an answer. One of which you can’t give her. So, you keep staring out of the window, refusing to look directly at her.

“You asked me to come here,” you finally manage to say.

“You didn’t have to, you know.”

“I know. But I felt I had too.”

“Why’s that?”

Instead of turning to look at her, you continue to watch as the rain pelts the glass, take a deep breath and then say, “We have to end this. I have a marriage to fix.”

She doesn’t say anything at first, and when she does, it isn’t exactly what you hoped she’d say; more or less, the exact opposite.

“I fell in love with you,” she says.

The comment causes you to turn around. She’s standing there, with her coat slipping through her fingers like sand. Part of you wishes you could hold her, but you refrain from doing so. In the long run things will be easier if you keep her at arms length.

_“I fell in love with you.” ___

__How in the hell do you respond to that?_ _

__“I’m sorry.” And with a deep breath and a soft brush of your lips against her forehead, you walk past her, out the door and into the world._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I hang around on [tumblr](https://blueabsinthe18.tumblr.com/) on occasion. ♥


End file.
